My honey petal goddess;

Jeez, that sounds SO cheesy. But I can't think of any less brash nicknames I have for you. Irnbrucan, Miss Quackerton, God, etc. don't seem all that tender xD We need to sort that.

I loved this afternoon. Thank you.
I just... I felt so comfortable with you. I always have, but ever since we stopped, I've felt kind of like I didn't want to upset you by being too forward, so I was stepping back with everything. But today, everything felt much more relaxed.

...Thing is, every time we're that relaxed, we almost end up kissing. Again. I'm sorry for my part in that... actually no, I'm not. I can't lie to you. I miss those afternoons, cuddled up against you on your couch with no-one else there, watching TV on catchup and occasionally kissing you. But I know that you don't want that - at least not all of it. And I've dealt with that. But today, we ended up sitting on your bed, eyes closed, noses together, lips this close - (..................) - from touching. We would have kissed had we not been interrupted. And it happened a couple of weeks ago, on your couch. Twice in one day.

It tears me apart, honey. My brain's bouncing around in my skull, the amount of it that's not stunned by your being so close. I know so well that you don't love me back. I know it'll cause us both heartache in the end. But another part of me just doesn't care. All it cares about is moving that two inches closer towards you, and kissing your lips again. It's the part of my brain that keeps me awake at night, imagining conversations where I tell you I can't take this any more and you say you can't either and we end up in eachother's arms.

I love you. Not just in that I want so desperately to kiss you.
You're one of the closest friends I've ever had. And I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me in the past year.
Thank you.
Forever yours,

Tokepi/Superlily/BAMF/Sheepy xx

Irnbrucan;

I'm so glad that everything has gone back pretty much to normal. Although I still long to kiss you again, you were right. It wasn't for the best, and we'd both have got hurt.

Today meant a lot to me, because I thought you were possibly slightly awkward with me after Monday, but I was just being paranoid.

I love you always,
Your Wifey xx